Miguel Cabrera's arrest for DUI on February 16, 2011
Overview
Miguel was drunk, flat out shitfaced drunk. He drank his scotch in front of the police and seems like he was behaving as a total asshole douchebag. I am not making any excuses for any of his behavior. Stupid, dumb, ridiculous, reckless, selfish, criminal, etc, etc, etc.
This being his second offense, it raises red flags that perhaps Miguel has a drinking problem or perhaps he is even an alcoholic. I don't know if he does or if he is, but it seems like it to an objective, distant observer like myself.
Generally accepted theory
Miguel was drinking.
He got into his car and drove towards home.
He banged up his car on the way home.
Cops come and he is an asshole.
They arrest him for DUI and he pulls the "don't you know who I am line".
My questions
I have zero doubt that he was drunk and that he was an obnoxious prick. But, I have doubts if he was driving the car that night. I think there are some clues in the police report that hint at the idea that Miguel was not driving the car before or after the police arrived at the scene. I don't know if I am right or I am wrong, but I think there are enough questions and enough doubt that somebody should be asking questions.
Clue #1
The officer had asked him who was with him and he replied "I am going to fucking kill him".
Who would say that if he was alone? Even a drunk person wouldn't say that. Does this even make sense to say 'I am going to kill somebody' when you are alone? I don't think so. So, who was he talking about?
Clue #2
The report indicates that "the keys were in the ignition". If Miguel were seen driving, would they have written that? If he were in the driver’s seat with his belt on and clearly having driven, would they have written that? If there were any doubt that he was driving would they write that? Does it make sense? I don't think so. Why would they feel the need to write that?
Clue #3
This one is more subtle. Miguel supposedly said "Don't you know who I am? Don't you know my problems?" Granted, this sounds like a self-absorbed, over-paid athlete who screwed up and doesn't like getting caught. But, what if the context of the 'my problems' statement is that he was saying something like "do you think I was driving? do you think I am stupid? don't you know that I have a drinking problem?"
Theory
OK, here is a theory of the sequence of events that ties this stuff together. Again, I am not saying this is what happened, but merely a possibility.
Miguel was at a party drinking. Way too much.
He gets drunk as hell and either asks somebody to drive him home or somebody insists or some variation thereof.
The other person is driving him home (and perhaps he is also impaired) and they get into an accident. This would explain the smoke come from the car that is referenced in the police report.
With the car on the side of the road after the accident, the driver leaves to either get help or to flee the situation - perhaps because he was drinking.
This leaves Cabrera alone sitting in the passenger seat.
The cops show up, see that he is drunk and being a disrespectful asshole.
The keys are in the ignition and he is in the car, so they arrest him for DUI.
When they explain the DUI charge, he says "Are you fucking crazy? Don't you know who I am? Don't you know about my alcohol problem? There is no fucking way I would be driving like this?"
Conclusion
Either of the theories is possible. It’s certainly possible that the first, more simple, explanation is the truth. But, I feel, the second explanation is also possible. Ask yourself this question: If the second theory was what actually occurred, would this contradict anything that we already know from the statements or from the police report? And, if it does not contradict anything that we know, they why is it not possible?
If Cabrera reaches a plea deal with the prosecutors, then we'll never know what actually happened. If there is no plea, we may still never know, unless somebody asks questions.
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